im feeling a bit better, thanks :) im going to take a shower and try to get some sleep

my dead blog is the only place i can put this without feeling guilty

i just cant handle my stepdad anymore

i cant do it

im terrified of him, i always have been

im sobbing as i write this

hes never been truly mean to me, but his tone of voice is always so cutting and horrible i cant look him in the eye without welling up

ive tried so hard throughout these eight years to become friends with him

hes never hit me, never truly offended me

i just hate how obsessed he is with rules and reality

i guess thats it

nothings ever fuzzy with him, its always cold hard reality

exempla gratis

we were zTRYING to have a fun scrabble game

mom put time limit on it to get it over with faster (she wanted to go to bed) 

we had never played it this way before, but i was ok with it until my stepdad starts humming the jeopardy song and yelling at me to put ANYTHING DOWN

which is so stupid BECAUSE THE POINT OF SCARBBLE IS PUTTING DOWN THE BEST WORD POSSIBLE

THE GAME IS HALF LUCK ALREADY I MEAN JESUS CHRIST

i end up with a 4 point word, an agry stepdad, and a whole bunch of tears and snot

im almost 17 fucking years old

i should not be crying over a board game

this bullshit continues through the rest of the game

im still crying btw

he continues to be cutting and at the very end he forces me to keep talking to him

my heart is beating a hundred times persecond and i can barely talking through all of the choking

and thats when i finally had had it and ran away to my room

i dont know what the fuck to do

someone help me

thegeekyblonde:

everything that you’ve ever loved on the internet was made by neil cicierega

(via liamdryden)

??? What did I do? I’m sorry???

froggosh:

remember that episode of hole diggers where lewis kept saying “duncan u definitely fucking built these windmills. who else would build windmills here” on the windmills he built with kim. duncan just kept going “what???? what?? i never built windmills? it mustve been someone else??”

this clone theory is good